TIFU

[This actually happened yesterday, but YIFU doesn’t have the same ring to it.]

Sometimes I blog to document the What Was I Thinking? aspect of things I do, because somehow every step seems to make sense on its own at the time, but this question always arises later. So let’s try to reconstruct the reasoning that led to this mess of a day.

1. I was looking for an Eckschrank (um, like, a corner cupboard. But big.) to store bed linens and towels for when I run an AirBnB. I don’t know why I’m so stuck on this plan, everyone who knows me is heavingly skeptical, but it just doesn’t go away. So anyway. Eckschrank. Linens. Real actual wood, not particle board. So, used. Ebay!
2. I bid on a couple, but failed. I also bid very low on two other schranks that I just liked the look of, and would need to be picked up just south of Munich. I didn’t think I’d win the auctions, but literally no one else bid on them, so I got them for €1 each. But I would have to pick them up. I asked around, concluded I would have to rent a van from Sixt, checked it out, and the day rate is only €20! Well that’s manageable.
3. ThingTwo and I went to the place on Saturday with the Twingo to pick up some smaller items that I’d also bought from the same guy, and to take some measurements. Because it turned out to be possible, we disassembled one schrank, and at least took the glass doors off the other – more was not possible, but at least the doors wouldn’t swing open or break. We brought the shelves home, along with the smaller items.
4. Today was the day to rent the van and pick up the two schrank shells. We arrived either slightly late or very early, depends how you look at it – 11.35, when I’d said 11.00, but apparently I’d reserved it for next Wednesday. The 20th. Oops. They did find one we could use but it had to be back by four. No problem, we foolishly thought. Okay, it shouldn’t have been a problem, but the schranks were heavier than we anticipated, and also Someone is a bit of a drama queen, although he is awesome in many other ways.
5. So we got to the house and when I say we, I mean I drove, but ThingTwo had to interpret the nav for me and also remember how to get there because I was a clueless mess. This will be important later. We got there, parked in the alley, started loading stuff in, until another van arrived that needed to get through and we hadn’t left enough clearance. So ThingTwo told me to just drive around the block, while he brought up more boards. And of course without him I got lost and confused, just driving around the damn block. Eventually I got re-oriented, went past the right street and had to turn around in the garage-plaza thing that had a bus shelter on it, which drew a MASSIVE DEEP SCRAPEY GROOVE in the upper driver-side wall of the van when I drove past it too close.
6. So, two lovely old wooden wardrobes for €1 each, plus €21 van rental, plus GIANT FUCKING GROOVE IN THE VAN will probably equal hundreds of euros in damage. So much for saving money.
7. Also, I was late getting back to the rental place and I forgot my satnav in the van.

And what have we learned today?

No more renting vans. I gouged a big dent in this one. Last one, I involved it in an accident. The one before that, I forgot to gas up before I returned it and ended up paying a huge re-tanking fee plus the cost of the gas, it was like €165 in total. This looked like a way to save money, but it is not. Not the way I do it.

Why did I think I could do grown-up things? Because people keep telling me I can. And then I believe them and I try and shit like this happens.

I wonder if it’s too late to join a convent.