Not parasites. More like symbionts.

I think it’s a fairly widely-accepted truth that part of a parent’s job is making sure the little monsters eat properly. Maybe your kids are more virtuous, but mine would never eat anything but M&Ms and french fries without my shrill gentle guidance. Okay, maybe the occasional Dorito. For fiber.

But I noticed something interesting when the kids were in Germany for ten days last month. Generally, when they’re home, I fill the dishwasher every day, and there’s a pretty reasonable assortment of dishes in there. While the kids were gone, I only ran the dishwasher every three days. Not because it was full, oh no.

Because that’s how long it took us to run out of coffee cups and ramen bowls.

Huh. So it looks like the little monsters are returning the favor. Egad, what will happen when they grow up and move out? Before we had kids, we ate like college students because we were, and we had the metabolism to match. A college-student diet with middle-aged bodies? The mind boggles…

Song du jour of the day: could only be Eat It, by Weird Al Yankovic.

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2 responses to “Not parasites. More like symbionts.

  • Jack

    Wait ’til you’re old. The only way I can stay in shape is to lift weights 3 times a week and go for walks. Then I have to rest afterwards. No more running.

  • Nate

    It really is mostly a matter of what you leave laying around for them…. to a degree. Michelle is fond of leaving a bowl of cleaned, in-season fruit on the counter. A 4-pound flat of strawberries doesn’t last an hour. They eat a lot of apples and pb&j, too. Where do they get these “french fries” you speak of? As I’m fond of saying, you’ll never see a dead kid next to a full bowl of [reasonably likable food]. I’m noticing, as you already have, that this rule does not apply to children over 12.

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