where’s the almost?

So I wandered over to the NaBloPoMo site, and I can have a badge! There’s one that says “I did it!” and one that says “I blew it!”. I don’t feel like I really earned the former, since I did miss two days this month, but the latter seems a tad harsh, I must say. Isn’t there a sort of silver medal option?

In any case, blogging every day hasn’t solved the problem I set out to solve, which was that I had lost the ability to write easily and fluently, and I thought a month of practice would help. These last posts feel just as awkward and pointless as the first few, so I guess the problem lies elsewhere – basically, in the fact that I am too scatterbrained to hold a coherent thought long enough to get it in writing. Note that I mean scatterbrained not as a permanent personality trait, but as a temporary response to a difficult situation, which is that I am holding too many unrelated threads together right now, and that means that 1) I don’t have space in my brain for blogging, and 2) I don’t have space in my day. Pretty much every night I’ve glanced at the clock, noticed it was 11:45, and thought “oop! Gotta blog,” even though what I really wanted was to go to sleep.

That’s the wrong reason for blogging. But I still think I should keep up with it, because I still write for my work, and I still need to be able to do it well. So this NaBloPoMo was my call to use my blog as the canary in the coal mine of my life – when I’m too scattered to blog, something has to change.

I wonder what that something should be…

Song du jour of the day: Word Up, by Cameo. With Geordi!

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