sorry…

about blogless yesterday, I was having internet problems (again). Put me in a really foul mood, so if I had blogged it would mostly have been GRAAAARGH! DARRGH YARRGH SNARGLE FYAAAAARGH! and you’re really better off without that.

I don’t know, though, that’s really about all I have to say lately, and that’s bad. DrBob is kind of overburdened at work right now. There’s a lot for him to do, and I try to convince him to rest and take care of himself, but he’s one of those freakishly conscientious people who puts 110% into everything he does. He can’t ease the pressure on himself by just blowing something off (and actually, I’d respect him less if he could), so he is constantly, constantly working. Barely sleeping, sick all the time, exhausted.

I’m worried about him, and what I can do to help is minimal: keep the household running smoothly and the children under control, basically. And I’m actually not very good at that, but I’ve been doing it without help since we moved here, and it’s starting to wear me down – especially since I have this job that’s really hard to do when I keep getting interrupted, so there’s also this constant lurking thought of the work I’m not getting done.

I haven’t gotten to the point of resenting DrBob yet, thank God, because this really isn’t his fault. But I’m starting to get forgetful and snippy with the boys and more prone to blurting out stupid stuff as I forget to think before I speak. I feel really bad about this. He’s a good guy having a rough time, and he deserves whatever support I can give him.

Next quarter should be better, but that’s late January. And before then the weather’s going to get worse and the nights are going to get longer and the holidays are coming and augh. No idea what to do except keep plugging along, but also no real confidence in my ability to do that. Bleck.

So yeah. I’m sorry, but I can’t bother DrBob with this, so I have to vent all over you. You’re welcome!

Song du jour of the day: Smooth, by Lina.

ETA: This cheered me up tremendously.

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3 responses to “sorry…

  • kmjsmith

    Wow- that was awesome, I can’t wait to show Rora.

  • Melanie

    I feel like this a lot of the time. It was a lot more fun being a bitch before I had a kid, now I feel all guilty for my short tempered moments.

  • amy

    Snippy and blurting out stupid stuff…that sounds like me a lot of the time, too. I keep wondering when fewer of my days will feel like crisis mode, you know? Something or other is almost always going on–travel, sickness, whatever–that I should probably just figure out a way to be pleasant while in crisis mode.

    I’m thinking pharmaceuticals would do it.

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