So moving a teenager is never a nice thing to do. I mean, I moved around some as a teenager, and it wasn’t really that grueling, but that’s because I didn’t have any friends – because I moved around so much as a kid. (Okay I had one friend in junior high. She was really nice. I still owe her an email.)
Ignatz has lots of friends, and they’re actually pretty cool – my mom always liked teenagers, and I’m finding now that I do too, as long as they’re not stupid swaggering sneery thuglets or bitchy-manipulative barbies, which Ig’s friends are not. They’re cool, and leaving them will totally suck. He’s not happy about this move.
SO not happy, in fact, that I seriously considered leaving him here. We’ve discussed it: would he like to stay with Georg, and finish high school in Munich? He wouldn’t have to learn Dutch. Or would he like to move in with the Oompas? He wouldn’t have to change schools, though he would have to take the bus. To both he said no, which tells me that he’s at least resigned to going. He seems to recognize that he still needs his family.
I also think this is a tremendous opportunity for him, to learn yet another language and culture. But he doesn’t see it that way, and probably won’t approach it with the fab-new-experience attitude, but rather with the my-parents-are-making-me-do-this attitude, which is not really the way to enjoy life to the fullest. One of those things you only learn once you’re not a teenager anymore, I’m guessing.
But if we wait a year, if he’s 15 1/2 when we go, what will have changed? Will he feel better able to cope with the move? Will he feel more independent, ready to stay behind? Will he have a girlfriend (excuse me while I step into the next room for a coronary moment…)? How will my choices affect my child? It’s impossible not to worry about this, because with kids, there are no do-overs. I can’t rewind and reset, I can only say “well, that was the wrong choice, as it turns out, and now I’ve gone and damaged my child.” And I get a little tired of saying that.
Song du jour of the day: NOT Que Sera Sera. Umm, This River Is Wild, by the Killers.