Well they couldn’t reach him, so they called me to ask me to ask him to call them so they could offer him the job. When I did reach him he sounded a bit… flustered. I just picked him up from the airport, and I’m flustered too. Happy. Proud. Relieved. It was my decision to come back here to Germany, and I’ve wondered for, oh, nearly six years now if, in doing so, I had fatally sabotaged his career. He hasn’t accepted yet, he has until Wednesday to make a decision, but I will of course encourage him to take the job.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, I’d be a single mother for half the year, O fate worse than death. But it’s not. I was raised by a single mom, then a single step-mom, then back to the single mom again, it’s what I know. And if I said “Puh-leeeeeze don’t take the job I can’t live without you,” he’d probably take that into consideration, except that I’ve already lived without him (we were separated for a year (1998)), so he’d know I was lying. I know, having Been There, that the real horror of single motherhood is the poverty, and without that, it’s basically just another way to do the parent thing. That’s really not the part I’m worried about.
What part am I worried about? I don’t know. I don’t think I am worried. I think I’m so happy that I’m not quite ready to believe it yet. I will have to learn how to deal with the bureaucracy, pay the bills, hang shelves and do household repairs – all stuff that is harder here in Germany than it was in my hometown, three blocks from my mom’s house, which is where Ignatz and I lived in 1998, but you know. I haven’t learned all that yet because I didn’t have to. Frankly, it’s about frickin’ time I did.
But he’s worked so hard. And he’s been so patient. And this isn’t just any old job that he’d be taking because it’s better than nothing, this is a good school where he can do research and write and his interests match theirs and he likes the people he met today and this will be so good for him. He really deserves it.
Song du jour of the day: Oh Happy Day, by Edwin Hawkins.