ummm…

I think I forgot how to blog. Uh, what did I used to talk about?

Well, how’s this: I blew my class. It was the third and last class for my Web Database certificate, I was learning how to make data-driven websites. And after the work-crisis and the hospital stay I asked about an extension and they said it’s too early to apply right now, chin up, you’re doing fine and all that, and then after that there was buying a house and moving and the no internet for five weeks. And then when I asked again about the extension it was too late.

How do I feel about this? Relieved, a little, I guess, because I don’t have to worry about it any more. But really disappointed, because I’m a total Hermione – I don’t do failure, not academically anyway. I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but the Sniglet was born mid-semester and I didn’t miss a single assignment (thanks in part to the lovely U.S. healthcare system, “Here’s yer baby, Mrs. Whatever, now get out”, I was only in the hospital for 36 hours). And I was at this point in my Database Management certificate course when my mother died last year – okay, that time I needed an extension, but I still managed to finish the class. I always finish. I always pass. I ALWAYS GET AT LEAST A B.

But not this time. This time it was all too much for me. Even though none of it seemed bigger than having a baby, or losing a mom, taken all together it was more than I could handle.

Damn.

No, I’m not going to call them up and try to weasel an extension anyway. I blew it, first by signing up too soon, in mid-July in the middle of a badass work deadline. That was a mistake. And they sent me the email with the important dates in late September, it’s not their fault I didn’t check it until last week. I’m gonna take responsibility for this one myself, maybe sign up for the class again later and try to finish it, or maybe just start looking for a job when I get back from the States and hope the certificates and experience I already have are enough. I’m going to try to focus on the trip and what I need to accomplish, get my house in order, maybe even have a Christmas without the whole last-minute freakout.

I’m going to accept it. And move on.

Song du jour of the day: Morning Paper Dirt, by Mando Diao: “It’s gonna rain, that’s what they said / And we just gotta cover our heads…”

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2 responses to “ummm…

  • James

    Sometimes you’re better off to cut your losses and leave it at that. I have been searching for a job, but so far I am not having any luck. Hopefully I will get lucky soon…..Keep your chin up!!

  • dagoril

    To paraphrase Vedek Barial from Star Trek hehe…

    “Maybe you should try exploring being useless for a while…see what it’s like.”

    In other words, are you your permanent record? Or are the things in your life there to bring you more joy? Does worrying about grades enhance your life somehow? Think about it! 🙂

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