Sorry, guys, but here it comes: I win. My brother – not yours – is the coolest brother ever in the history of the universe, because not only did he send me THIS, he FedExed it so it would get here before game day. That is how cool my brother is, and and there is just no beating that. Ever. Now I will go watch the Super Bowl at the Arc and the other fans will be blinded by how tragically hip and fabulous I am. But if I am hipper than others it is because I have stood on the shoulders of a giant of hipness. I so do not deserve this, but I’ll take it anyway.
Thanks a million, bro. I will really and sincerely try not to forget your birthday again this year.